I can do it on my own
by RedPerception
Summary: Lisbon's keeping a secret from everyone. How long can she keep her secret and what happens when Jane finds out.
1. Chapter 1

This was not possible I could easily count the number of time I had sex in the past month. I was over reacting you know what at my age it was probably… no I wasn't going to think about that either I still had a couple years. I was barely late I was over reacting I was one hundred percent sure of it. So why was I sitting on my bathroom floor again?

It had been plenty of time I should look now, but what if I was over reacting. I wasn't ready for that I couldn't do that on my own. Oh God! Positive. I couldn't be a single parent, but I couldn't tell the father either. We split up weeks ago. Exactly weeks ago so he couldn't be, but that meant it had to be… Not that I could tell him either, I mean it had been one night it had been a mistake I had kicked him out. Damn it! He couldn't be the father. It had to be Matthews it couldn't be… I could not be pregnant with Patrick Jane's child.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm happy that so many people like this story, it was kind of an idea that came to me last night and I just had to write it down. I promise to those of you who are following my other story Post Red I will continue to update it regularly and this will not get in the way. So I would love to hear what you think of chapter two. And I like everyone else am sad to say I do not own the Mentalist or it's characters. **

Three weeks, and I hadn't told anyone, I could handle this, and I could be a single parent. I mean obviously I would have to tell them eventually it's not something I could hide but I had it figured out I would tell everyone it was Matthew's kid I would never see him again anyway. And I wouldn't tell them until I had to. Damn it closed case pizza.

"I'll be right back." I stopped myself from gagging and hurried to the bathroom. A couple minutes later the door opened and I knew I was caught.

"Boss, are you okay?" Grace was standing behind me.

"I'm fine." I sighed sitting back away from the toilet.

"No offense boss but I just walked in on you throwing up into a toilet, that doesn't look fine to me." She wetted a paper towel for me.

"I promise I'm fine." I accepted the paper towel and she pulled my hair back away from my face. "It was probably whatever I had for lunch."

"If you're sure you're alright boss." She sighed, "Do you want some water or something."

"Grace." I whispered, "I'm pregnant."

"Boss that's great." She grinned, but stopped. "Is that great?"

"I don't know."

"I didn't even know you were seeing anyone." She sat with me on the bathroom floor.

"I'm not." I answered, "I mean I was, but we split up."

"The doctor." She questioned and I just nodded, "And have you told him?"

"I made a mistake Grace."

"What are you talking about Boss?"

"We split up at least a week before the possible date of conception." I laid my face in my hands.

"So then who's the father?"

"Grace I made a big mistake." I repeated.

"Oh Boss what happened you can tell me."

"You can't tell anyone outside if this room." I wasn't going to let myself cry right now, there was no reason to cry I had already figured out what I was going to do, but I could trust Grace.

"Boss I promise, what did you do that was so horrible?"

"I slept with Jane."

"Jane is the father?" She repeated.

"He has to be he's the only one since Matthew and I split up."

"Boss you have to tell him." I felt her start rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"I can't you didn't see his face at breakfast the next morning. He looked so guilty and you know how he always plays with his ring when he thinks about his family."

"Boss you can't not tell him."

"Grace he felt bad enough that he slept me when he's still in love with is wife now I'm supposed to tell him oh hey you're going to be a dad again to."

"He deserves to know."

"You can't tell him."

"I won't you need to be the one to tell him."

"That's not going to happen."


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm happy everyone is enjoying it so far, I realize there are probably some inconsistency like I said I came up with the idea and basically wrote the whole thing in one day. So please tell me what you think. And of course I own nothing. **

"Teresa you should have told me." Jane stormed into my office and just barely stopped himself from shouting.

"It's none of your business." I turned away from him I couldn't watch.

"What do you mean it's none of my business?!"

"It's not yours." I snapped, I could see the hurt in his eyes I probably shouldn't have snapped at him. But why did he assume it was his business in the first place?

"I'm sorry." He fell onto his couch. "Well then congratulation."

"Thank you." I nodded taking a seat in my desk.

"Are you okay?" He frowned he was watching me now, he was just going to sit there and observe me.

"I'm fine thank you." I don't know why I was so unnecessarily angry at him he hadn't really done anything. I should have known when I slept with him it was a bad idea.

"Lisbon you can talk to me."

"There's nothing to say."

"Why haven't you told the father?"

"Because it didn't work out between Matthew and I, and I don't want him thinking a kid is a good enough reason to stick around when he clearly doesn't want to."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Why would you want to Jane?"

"You're my best friend and you're clearly miserable about something. You shouldn't have to do this alone, if you don't want to tell your doctor friend I'm going to help."

"It's not even your kid."

"I heard that the first time."

"Then why would you want to help?"

"Because you're still my best friend." He insisted, he was not about to make me feel guilty not now. Not after I spent the days after our fling feeling guilty, I hadn't forced him to sleep with me. In fact he had basically initiated.

"I can do this on my own."

"Teresa…" He stopped, "Alright if you need anything just ask, I don't want you to think you're alone."

"Good to know Jane." I watched him walk out of my office. Two and a half months I had kept it from the team well except for Grace for two and a half months. I wasn't that confident in myself I knew they suspected something, Jane especially but no one said anything until I did.

And Jane was trying to be helpful after everything why would he think I needed his help. Would he try to be this helpful if he knew it was his kid, or would he just feel guilty?


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter 4, I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think. As usual I own nothing. **

"Thank you Jane." I can't believe this, he had to drive me home, this was ridiculous. Okay so now I wasn't aloud to do any fieldwork, this wasn't fair. Then again I shouldn't have yelled at Bertram about it. Goddamn hormones!

"I told you all you had to do was ask." He helped me up the stairs, I was five months pregnant this was insane. The doctor said I needed to relax easy for him to say. "Do you need me to get anything else?"

"No I'll be fine." I just wanted him to leave I couldn't stand him being helpful when I was still lying to him.

"Come on let me at least cook you dinner or something you deserve to relax."

"Why does everybody keep telling me that?"

"Because you really need to calm down. I've accepted that you insist on doing this by yourself but it wouldn't kill you to accept a little help every once in a while."

"I let you drive me home didn't I." I had failed at keeping him out of my apartment.

"And what would you like for dinner?"

"I would like for you to leave."

"Well we can't always get what you want." He smiled, why did he smile like that it really made me want to kiss him or slap him I haven't decided yet. "It's a good thing I brought stuff over to make you dinner."

"Goddammit Jane I don't need your help."

"Go put on something comfortable, and cooking dinner is not helping you it's being a good friend."

"Something you've never been incredibly good at."

"That hurts." He chuckled, taking a grocery bag from behind his back how had I not seen that and how did he possibly know he would be taking me home tonight? When I came back to the kitchen I found Jane working hard at the stove he smiled when I came in and motioned for me to take a seat. "You have another ultrasound coming up are you going to find out the sex of the baby?" He wondered after a couple minutes of silence.

"Did you find out when it was…"

"No, I liked the idea of something surprising me." He smiled as if recalling memory.

"I have something that might surprise you." I looked up from the shrimp linguine it was nice to have an appetite again.

"Really and what might that be?" He took a sip of his tea.

"Well the baby…" I stopped for a minute I hadn't told anyone yet how was I supposed to say this what the hell, "It's two." Jane actually spit the tea back into the cup.

"Really congratulations Teresa." He actually jumped up and gave me a hug and I just smiled and accepted, he didn't look as thrilled as he was acting. "You still aren't going to tell the father, I mean you still think you can do this on your own."

"I raised my three brothers I can handle it Jane."

"If you think so." He frowned, "And you're feeling okay, I mean it's dangerous having twins and…"

"And I'm not especially young." I finished, "The doctor says I'm fine, but I might have to spend some time in the hospital leading up to the birth."

"Are you okay right now?"

"I'm tired my back hurts and so do my feet, other than that perfect." I sighed, "I'm fine Jane I don't know why you're so concerned."

"Because you're my best friend, come on I'll clean this up and give you a foot massage before I leave." He answered gathering the dishes while I made my way to the living room. He was an amazing best friend, but if he knew I was carrying his kids he would go into hiding for months maybe years. The same way he did after Red John died at someone else's hand. The foot massage did feel amazing though, in fact I had made peace with the idea that if I told him he would disappear, but if he thought it was someone else's I would get to keep my best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

**So here's chapter 5 it's going to continue with the pattern of jumping a month or two ahead of the last one. And this story will be in no way as long as some of my other ones I have some where between 1-3 chapters left I haven't decided if the last one is necessary, I might post it as an epilogue. So as always I'd love to hear what you have to say, and as usual I own nothing. **

"Boss you need to tell him." Grace sighed she was helping pick out things for the spare bedroom that the team had successfully turned into a nursery.

"He's better if he doesn't know he'll stay if he doesn't know." I shook off her insisting.

"Is that what you keep telling yourself?" She frowned.

"Come on Grace we discussed this he's better off if he doesn't know he'd just beat himself up."

"Really after everything he's done to help you out, you think he'd leave you. You know what he's going to feel bad about, he going to feel bad that he couldn't do more to help you and his kids." Grace lectured.

"You've told me this before Grace." I rolled my eyes, "What do you think these car seats or the ones at the last store?"

"This one." She shrugged, "The last one didn't have the extra safety features."

"Right."

"What are you going to tell him in two months when the babies are born? I mean you can't expect them to not look anything like their father."

"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

"Boss, he's going to figure it out, if he hasn't already. It's not like any of us have ever been able to hide something from him before."

"I've been careful."

"How do you think he's going to react when he does find out, you're so sure he's going to want to run now, what happens when he finds out you've been lying to him about his children?"

"Grace…"

"Come on boss he's been more helpful than any of us combine, he brings you food in the middle of the night he give you foot massages amongst other things, he's trying to help because he cares about you."

"I can't tell him." I all but whispered, "Because I can't lose him."


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright here's chapter six, I have one or two more chapters left one for sure, I'm not sure about the quality of the last chapter so I might not post it. Anyway I'd love to hear what you have to say. As always I own nothing. **

I didn't know how I could be so exhausted and so excited at the same time, but here I was with my two beautiful baby boys Tobias Andrew and with Jane's permission Joshua Patrick. When I had asked him about it a month ago he had protested, but I had used his favorite best friend line against him and he gave in. Both Jane and Grace had been with me the whole delivery and I'll admit I was happy I didn't have to do it on my own. After minutes of just observing the two sleeping children and me Jane spoke up.

"Teresa." He smiled, and I looked up from the twins. "Can I hold one of my sons?"

"What the? Grace!" I turned to the red head on my other side.

"I didn't say anything."

"She didn't have to." Jane just kept grinning.

"How long have you known, and please tell me that was not just a guess right now to make me reveal the truth while I'm so exhausted."

"No it wasn't a guess." He laughed, "I suspected it after the two of you spent fifteen minutes together in the bathroom, I did the mental math I fit better than Matthew. I didn't know for sure until you told me it wasn't mine."

"Yeah and how did you know then?"

"I'll admit when you said it I thought I had been wrong but then when I asked if you were going to tell the father you put a little extra emphasis on Matthew but for the rest of the pregnancy you only referred to the father as him, never a name. Then you seemed almost confused and offended that you're friend would offer to help you. Of course the guilty look on Grace's face when I walked back to my couch afterwards didn't hurt either."

"You knew the whole time and didn't say anything." I frowned, now I felt horrible, exhausted and horrible.

"You didn't want me to know so I said I didn't, but just so we're clear Matthews brown eyes and you're beautiful green eyes do not mix in anyway to get their blue eyes." He nodded to the sleeping boys.

"I was going to tell you eventually."

"Why didn't you?" He scooted his seat closer desperate for an answer that I thought was pretty obvious.

"Afterwards you had the guilty look in on your face and you were playing with your ring you weren't ready for a relationship. Then when I kicked you out you actually said 'yes I feel guilty…' and 'yes it was a mistake…' What was I supposed to say you know how you slept with me and were guilt ridden because I wasn't your wife by the way I'm pregnant? Because that would make you feel even guiltier and I thought you would run."

"Teresa, you never let me finish a sentence that morning, yes I did say both of those things but not for the reasons you think, you never let me finish. I was going to say yes I feel guilty that we jumped straight into bed and yes it was a mistake because maybe I'm old fashioned but I prefer to take a woman out to at least one meal before jumping into bed with her. I felt guilty that I didn't get the chance to properly date you." He was watching me for a reaction and now I just felt guilty. "And yes I was playing with my ring that morning, I was debating taking it off. I didn't want to enter a relationship with you thinking about me as a married man."

"Now I feel like an idiot, like a stupid idiot." I sighed.

"You shouldn't." He whispered, moving from his seat to the edge of my bed. "You reacted off of how I had behaved in the past. I only wish you would have given me a chance."

"I mean if you wanted to take me on a proper date I might be able to give you a real chance." I couldn't help but grin as he lifted Joshua out of my arms so he could scoot closer to me. "But it might have to be a group date."

"I would love that." He leaned over and kissed me as if his life depended on it.

"I'm just going to be outside if you need anything else." Grace coughed, now I felt real guilty I had actually forgotten she was standing there. "But for the record boss I told you so." I couldn't help but laugh.

"You were right Grace, thank you." She smiled and walked out, "As for you mister I have a very important question."

"Ask away my dear."

"How dare you get me pregnant? And with twins no less you stupid pain in my ass." I was so honestly happy right now I could not believe the range of emotions I had experienced in the past twenty minutes. And it was just that much better to have him sit there and laugh with me.

"You really should curse like that in front of my sons." He kissed me again.

"It's not to late to put you're name on the birth certificates." I whispered after a little bit I was half asleep curled up into his side while he held both boys.

"I would love that." He kissed my forehead.


	7. Chapter 7

**I think I'm going to have one more chapter after this as a sort of epilogue, but I am open to the idea of a sequel if any of you have scenes you would like to see me write. I hope you like it, as usual I own nothing. **

"Where on earth did you find those?" I laughed as Patrick came out of the boys room, with Toby stumbling in front of him while Josh still seemed content to be carried if he could get away with it.

"I bought them." Patrick smiled, "They need to be dressed sharp for their first birthday."

"You bought our one year olds three piece suits." I rolled my eyes, he had a serious problem with spoiling them, but this was ridiculous they were just going to get the suits dirty and any one could tell from across the room they were expensive.

"Yes I did." He just grinned, "Watch out." He had to lift a tottering Toby into his free arm before he found the side of the couch.

"And how much did they cost?"

"I had it in cash." He shrugged.

"All you carry is cash."

"Besides the point, not the most expensive thing I've bought in the past couple weeks."

"For some reason I don't doubt it."

"They boys felt bad that they would be receiving all these gifts and mommy wouldn't get any so they high jacked my car and bought you a present." He just smiled.

"They did, did they?"

"Can you show mommy what you got her?" He looked to Toby first, the little boy had a little difficulty pulling the small black box out of his pocket. I stopped, this was not what I had been expecting, I mean yes Patrick and I had been living together since the boys were born, and it shouldn't be a surprise we talked about it before, but I was still out of breath. I took the box from my sons hand and inside was nothing.

"Really Patrick?" I tried not to sound disappointed.

"Josh your turn what did you get mommy?" Patrick encouraged, and the little boy fumbled a little pulling the most amazing engagement ring out of his pocket. Somehow it was simple while being extremely elegant.

"Teresa Lisbon will you marry me?" He smiled.

"Of course, you bastard." I helped him slide the ring onto my finger without setting the boys down.

"Well you try and figure out how to split an engagement ring in two and then you can start calling me names." He laughed I just rolled my eyes and leaned over our two boys to kiss my soon to be husband.

"Come on we have a birthday party to get ready for we have guests coming in a half hour." I sighed he just put down the boys and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I love you so much." He grinned.

"I love you to." I breathed in the scent of his vest. And an hour later I was sitting with the team and my three men in their matching suits when Van Pelt noticed the ring on my finger. All in all I'd say it was a very memorable first birthday.


	8. Epilogue

**This will act as** **an epilogue to the story, but like I said in the previous chapter if any of you have ideas you want to see in a sequel I'm more than willing to write it. Please don't be to critical of the whole story like I explained before I did write the whole thing in one night. Please enjoy, as usual I own nothing. **

I heard the screaming before we had even made it all the way up the front steps. "You need help?" Patrick questioned taking the baby carrier from me.

"No I was just bracing myself." I smiled, and the minute he opened the front door I had my boys in my arms.

"Mommy's home!"

"I missed you very much and the pictures you made for me and your sister were very beautiful, did Grandpa Virgil help you write her name?" I followed my husband and new baby girl into the house.

"Uh huh." They both nodded with matching smiles, it was hard to believe they were three already. My little boys with their blue eyes and brown curls, and that smile, of all the things they could have inherited from their father that smile was going to be the most dangerous.

"Come on let mommy sit down." I let them drag me to the couch where Patrick was already sitting with Minelli who was holding Riley Marie.

"Yeah come on boy let mommy sit down daddy needs hugs too." Patrick lifted the boys onto his lap.

"Thank you for watching them Virgil." I sighed, "I hope they weren't to much trouble."

"No they were perfect angels." He was busying playing with the little girl in his arm.

"That can't be right." I couldn't help but laugh, "You know they are half Jane's." And like their father they had a little problem with getting into trouble.

"They behaved really well, there was a problem with splashing at bath time and a refusal to finish their dinner, but that's it."

"Mommy doesn't think you to can behave with out her around." He tickled the boys, "Don't worry she thinks the same thing about me." After a little while Minelli said his good byes and I was left with my little family. The boys had started playing on the floor in front of us while I held our baby girl. And I could tell by the look on Patrick's face that he was about to give his little princess what ever she wanted, and I was okay with that. I was happy I didn't have to this on my own.


End file.
